My Response To “Fertility Shaming” (From A 38 Year Old Woman With No Kids)

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I saw a “Fertility Shaming” segment on the news today, where a woman in her early 30s complained about people asking her, her friends, and other women  if they were going to have kids.

I was with my ex-husband for over 12 years, and we had no children. I started getting the “When are you going to have kids” question when I was 22.

Yes, it’s annoying. But no one has ever “shamed” me.

“Shaming” someone means you are trying to make them feel bad or guilty over a wrong doing.

There is NOTHING wrong with not having kids.

Here’s a thought, America. Instead of creating the term “Fertility Shaming,” let’s just all accept the fact that not everyone has children.

Sometimes it’s by choice, chance, or infertility. It doesn’t matter how or why it happened. It’s ok. And the human race is in no danger of becoming extinct. In fact, it’s booming quite nicely!

If you don’t have kids and someone asks you if you’re going to have them, you can choose how to respond. People are simply asking you a question and you get to respond.

Tell them the truth. OR you can tell them to eff off.

No one is shaming you by asking you a question.

If you’re single and are waiting for the ideal partner, it’s okay to say it.

If you’re struggling with infertility, it’s okay to say it. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed over. Take back your power in this.

If you don’t want kids, it’s okay to say it.

If you’re just not sure, it’s okay to say it.

You only feel that someone is shaming you when you feel you are doing something shameful.

 

 

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