My friend Lish sent me a link to a post titled “Hating On Women Bloggers,” and after reading it, I wanted to write my own post on the subject.
The post mentioned two other bloggers and all the hate mail that each of them receives. One of the bloggers is a very well known mommy blogger and has appeared on Oprah. I don’t know her exact traffic numbers, but if she landed a seat on Oprah and is making enough money from the advertisements on her blog to support her family and have a nice stash in the bank, you know A LOT of people are reading her blog.
Some of the hate mail she receives doesn’t have anything to do with her posts. People actually send her mail to insult her looks — and even the way her children look!
That is RIDICULOUS!
I myself receive some hate mail every now and then from men who feel that I am bashing men. Obviously, they did not take the time to read anything on this site. There is no reference anywhere to “man bashing,” “man hating,” or even “no guys allowed.”
They are simply reading the tag line “for women who’d rather work for themselves, than work for the man,” and are either so full of themselves or so out of it, that they think they are “the man.” Well, news flash, “the man” is a slang expression for government, large corporations, authority figures, etc. I think it became popular way back in the 70s before I was born!
I have also received some not-so-nice emails from women who inform me that they are going to ‘bring me down’ and then they go post on forums how I am stupid or whatever they feel I am.
I would LOVE to publish their comments (and include their email addresses in order to allow people to respond to them) but I don’t. It’s all very idiotic and I don’t want to feed into it.
The fact is that there will always be people who will say bad things about you. Whether it is a child on a playground teasing another child or a 35 year old leaving a mean comment on your blog, those people are out there.
They are jealous and don’t have anything good going on in their own lives, so they are going to be mean to you in hopes that you will feel just as bad as they do.
If you are a blogger and haven’t received any hate mail yet, your time will come. And when it does, just tell yourself that those people can suck it.
You are awesome! You are doing something that they wish they were doing.
And whether they want to admit or not, they are sitting around reading YOUR BLOG. If they truly feel you are an idiot, why in the hell are they wasting their time reading what you write?
Only a true idiot would do that.
crissy, great post. i have been so lucky to avoid hate mail so far. i’m sure it’s coming… but i’m prepared.
you’re right on concerning the jealousy issue. whenever i hear about hate mail from others, it seems to be completely jealousy based. and obvious. so not only do these people want what you have, they are too oblivious to recognize that their hate mail comes off like a little angry love not. ridiculous.
positivity gets us a lot further than hate.
Good for you for not feeding into the hate! And seriously, your pep talk at the end of this post almost made me want to get some hate mail, so I could feel awesome. 🙂
Well, as a woman who grew up in those dark ages known as the ’70s, I personally LOVE your tagline and it’s why I thought, “Hell yeah, I wanna follow this blog!”
You’re absolutely right on (another fave ’70s saying) about comparing hate email from adults with schoolyard teasing. These are the bullies whose parents didn’t bother to teach them how to treat others kindly or with respect all grown up. Your advice to bloggers is exactly the advice I give my daughter (in 2nd grade) when she’s hurt by mean words on the playground….”Honey, feel sorry for them because they must be pretty sad and miserable about themselves to be picking on such a fabulous girl like you!”
Keep on bloggin’!
Best,
Rachael Brooke
Thanks for the POSITIVE feedback, ladies!
p.s. Rachael – I was born in ’77 but I think “the man” became a catchphrase in the early 70s
I still think it’s hilarious those gentlemen thought “the man” referred to men in general…
I know! The types of dudes who think that the world revolves around them.
I must say, I do answer their hate mail. I tell them off right back.
(but you probably figured that out already Lish. you know how I am.)
Right on, sister! 🙂
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You tell ’em Crissy! I just recently heard the same sort of thing from another lady….the bully never really does go away, it is very sad. Anyway, thanks for reminding those of us that sometimes hear the nastiness that it really is just the jealousy factor….it helps.
great post! i’m so glad to hear that you don’t feed into the stupidity.
Weird… I was JUST reading another post on my best friend’s blog about jealousy that seems to be rampant in the blogosphere right now. (Presumably she was referencing jealousy among fashion bloggers mostly.)
I haven’t really gotten any hate mail directed at me personally, but I did get a couple of emails about a post I wrote about someone else, a local designer who this person accused of stealing ideas and designs. Which I did take the time to investigate, and as far as I can tell seems to be a completely untrue accusation and most likely is seeded in jealousy, since the company in question has received great success sort of overnight.
There’s always going to be jealousy and I think it’s one of those things that you can either let get to you or you can brush off and forget about. There’s no point in letting it get under your skin… sometimes the best course of action is the good old “kill ’em with kindness” routine.