Almost Dying Can Really Make You Start Living

Today is my 3rd Anniversary of “Not Being Dead.” It’s a fancy way of saying that three years ago today, I had my first blood transfusion.

If you don’t know the story behind my diagnosis of Pernicious Anemia, or if you like to look at gory pictures of blood transfusions and plasma exchanges, then you should read this post.

Three years ago, I was really sick. Like, “I had no blood and felt like hell and knew I was going to die” type of sick. Literally.

I don’t believe in coincidences or accidents. I think things happen for a reason. Sometimes, things can seem pretty crummy. That’s because we don’t know all the answers yet. Sometimes, those crummy things turn out to be really good things – they often set us up for good things that just haven’t happened yet.

That’s why I think that almost dying was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I’ve always been a “big dreamer.” I had always said that I wanted to go to New York City. For a long time before I got sick, I had been saying that I wanted to “take my show on the road” and speak at conferences. I’ve been saying that I want to write a book since I can remember…

When I was in the hospital, when I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out alive, I wasn’t laying there, regretting things I had done. I was thinking about the things I hadn’t done.

I had never been to NYC. I had never gotten to speak at a conference. I never wrote that book.

I also thought about the things I wouldn’t get to do … If I died, there would be no more hanging out with my family; I wouldn’t get to watch my nephews grow up.

About six months after I got out of the hospital, I started planning my first trip to New York City. And that trip also including speaking at a blogging panel, that I had planned at Etsy’s headquarters. Since then, I’ve spoken at BlogHer and was invited to speak at Blissdom.

I still haven’t wrote the book. But I’m going to be sending out some proposals, soon.

I am still hanging out with my family almost every day. I am very grateful for every ordinary moment, especially after living in Alaska for so long and missing out on a lot of stuff.  A few weeks ago, there was this moment in my sister’s kitchen, where my sister, nephews, and I started singing We Are Young by Fun. It was just a normal, everyday type of moment, but that is what counts.

A lot of people plan to do things in the future. They plan to take trips. They plan to make changes. They plan to do things differently. But most people never end up doing the things they plan to do.

It’s easy to get so caught up in daily life that you don’t even see the magic in the everyday moments.

The biggest lesson that I learned from my whole Pernicious Anemia experience, is that life is really effing short. And it really is a gift. So don’t waste it.

So, just get out there and grab life and take it for all it’s got. Take those chances. Take those risks. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to make a change, do it. If you fall on your face, so what? At least you tried. And that’s better than just sitting there and doing nothing.

This is your chance. This is your time.

Think about all of the people in hospital beds, who aren’t going to get out of those beds. They wish they could do the things that they wanted to do in life. They can’t. You can. Do it.

Start living your life! Your adventure is waiting for you! Are you just going to let it sit there? Or are you going to grab it?

P.S. After all that, you may be wondering how I’m doing, health-wise. If you look at me today, you wouldn’t know I had Pernicious Anemia. I take B12 shots once a month and I only have to get my blood checked twice a year now. (when I first got diagnosed, I had to get it checked every week…)

I’ll never forget what if feels like to be sick and dying.  It really makes you appreciate feeling healthy. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.

 

7 thoughts on “Almost Dying Can Really Make You Start Living”

  1. Amazing story! I too have had to have blood transfusions. I actually lost a baby when I was almost 15 weeks along. I was almost to far along to have a DNC but, not far enough to delivery the baby. They really left me no choice in the matter because they said the baby had already been gone for two weeks and I hadnt fully miscarried. They told me if I did not have a DNC it would set up infection in my body and I could die. So I had the DNC. I lost over half of the blood in my body and my levels kept dropping. They told me I needed to have a blood transfusion. A blood transfusion is not something I ever wanted to have to face because when my dad was dieing of cancer in the hospital they gave him one and after being given someone else’s blood my dad couldnt take it and started ripping the needles from his arms. I am not sure if it was the ideal of having someone else’s blood in his body or what the reasoning was. But I knew at this point this was the only choice I had. I had my first blood transfusion and it didnt seem to help because my levels continued to drop from me losing so much blood. So I had to have a second blood transfusion. It was a very scary time in my life. I had many complications afterwards including blood clots as big as a softball. It was a time that I truly had to re-evaluate my life and realize that I had to make the best of my life and the life of my children because you truly have no idea when your life could be taken from you!

    Sometimes we face things in our lives that I guess are meant to make us stronger. Maybe thats the case for both of us. I am stronger person today, because of all that I have been through.

  2. Thanks for sharing. As a cancer survivor I get this idea! Live each day. My aunt had pernicious anemia.. I am SO glad you are alive!!! Happy 3rd anniversary.

  3. Cancer survivor, here. 8 years last month. I get it, too! It’s effin’ short.
    “Live Like You Were Dying” is my theme song.
    A very Happy 3rd Anniversary, to you and your family.
    Candy2Ev7

  4. I’m so glad I saved this post to read when I had time! While I’ve never really had that type of life threatening experience, I’ve had some things happen which have made me realize that life is too short. I do try to live life to the fullest, and it is sometimes hard to stay in that mindset. I’m so glad you are ok, and that you heeded your wake-up call! To accomplish 2 of the 3 things at the top of your list in 3 years, is not too shabby!! The book is on your to do list, and it sounds like you definitely have plans to put that into motion. Life is good, and we should all take a look at our to-do lists as if we were living out the last couple of days in our life. So much more would get accomplished! Enjoy every day to the fullest, and do take the times to sing “we are young” when you can. 🙂

  5. The process of blood clotting is triggered whenever flowing blood is exposed to certain substances. There are many different such substances, which are called thrombogenic because they promote formation of thrombus (another name for a clot). Many thrombogenic substances are located in the skin or in blood vessel walls. Normally safely separated from flowing blood, their contact with blood usually means the blood vessel wall is ruptured and bleeding. Examples of these thrombogenic substances are tissue factor, collagen, and von Willebrand factor.;

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